On love.

So it's been a while since my last blog but tonight I felt a desire to write.

I'm going to openly write about love and what it means to me.

To me, I find that I do seek to find love and everything that comes with it. Truth be told I have poor luck in the love department as I seemingly go through date-to-date looking for that little something extra.

What that little something extra is, I'm not one-hundred percent sure.

But maybe that's the point of it all. To find purpose and ultimately happiness bound in the covers of mystery and frustration.

I say this because mystery and frustration are a big part of the "chase."

I'm told mystery goes a long way with women as does frustration.

A girl will likely become very frustrated with a male if he does not give her the attention she seeks. A woman will be drawn to a man she can not understand. A woman needs not to be told "I love you" but rather be shown "why" he loves her.

Now I've kind of gotten off track a bit, but to righten this ship, let's dive into the cliche, "love will happen when you least expect it."

How can one honestly not expect it though?

I find myself to be so ready for something beyond my typical flings and MSN relationships and so I expect now to find a girl who suits my needs.

So my question to my readers is this,

How do I find love by not finding love?

The answer I fathom, does not exist but it's still frustrating (you see, frustration will always be associated with love) when I'm so ready to open up and tear down my walls to let someone in and not be able to find a girl who is in the same boat as me.

I find that online dating can't work, not for me anyways, because when you develop a relationship with someone online, it's very different from any relationship you will have in person. The two worlds to me are very hard to coincide together.

Any inside jokes or anything discussed online makes it very hard to mesh with the person you meet face-to-face rather then in front of a screen. It's two very different worlds.

You become accustomed to having the ability to think of something to say because you have more time to become clever and make sure you don't say the wrong thing, whereas in person, it's very real time and your expressions usually tell more then the words escaping your mouth.

So for me, if I can't find a girl online because I truly believe it can not work, where do I meet a girl?

I feel as if I am stuck in a rut, living comfortably in my bubble, which consists of close friends, home and work.

Meeting a girl at a bar is not something I find hopeful.

There is of course the argument that I am at the bar, me being somebody with values and moral beliefs, so then a a good catch could be at the same bar too, thinking the same thing as me, but lets face it. Bars are trouble, and nothing good usually comes from it.

I've played with the idea of speed dating, but do they really exist? What's the success rate of them? How awkward could it be? If I brought friends to keep me in check, would that harm my experience or make it positive?

Love is definitely in the air these days I find. A lot of girls I used to know, used to crush on are getting engaged, happily relationed or just really messed up into a bad relationship.

I thought that perhaps I might find "the one" at school, but that didn't happen and now that I have graduated and I am looking to start my career perhaps a new job will open a new window for me and a work relationship may blossom.

I've done the work relationship before and from my experience, they weren't the greatest, but then again, I was a different person and much younger.

Now as for the "set-up," this is another option that I've seemingly tried over and over again and have not had any luck with.

I find that the "set-uper" usually becomes too involved in the pair and the issue of trust can be easily compromised.

"If I tell the set-uper this, will they tell my date what I said?"

And sometimes the set-uper will put a lot of pressure onto the whole date to work out so as a result, neither person can really connect naturally. Things become rushed and then things get said and then before you know it, it's awkward for all three parties.

Not to say all set-ups are failures, I know of many relationships that have been successful from this option but only because the set-uper gave them proper space and privacy.

Anyways, I feel like I've gotten a lot of my chest tonight and maybe some of you can answer some of my questions for me, provide helpful advice and give me positive testimonies that might inspire me to keep my head up and know that good things come to those who wait, yadda yadda yadda.

Just to throw it out there, I'm looking for a girl with confidence, both within and about herself. A girl who can laugh at life and not take things too seriously, but can seriously take things into perspective. Being cute is also a plus.

Until next time, the only way anyone can ever truly love is by loving themselves first.